The Bottom of the Cistern


6So they took Jeremiah and put him into the cistern of Malkijah, the king’s son, which was in the courtyard of the guard. They lowered Jeremiah by ropes into the cistern; it had no water in it, only mud, and Jeremiah sank down into the mud. 10The King commanded Ebed-Melech the Cushite, “Take thirty men from here with you and lift Jeremiah the prophet out of the cistern before he dies. 11So, Ebed-Melech took the men with him and went to a room under the treasury palace. He took some old rags and worn-out clothes from there and let them down with ropes to Jeremiah in the cistern. 12Ebed-Melech the Cushite said to Jeremiah, “Put these old rags and worn-out clothes under your arms to pad the ropes.” Jeremiah did so 13 and they pulled him up with the ropes and lifted him out of the cistern. And Jeremiah remained in the courtyard of the guard.” ~Jeremiah 38:6; 10-13

This week has been filled with emotions. Lots and lots of emotions, but the odd thing is…I still can’t feel them. It is so weird! I go through the motion of using the appropriate responses to certain emotions, but I can’t feel them on the inside. I am both thankful and upset by this situation. Here’s why:

Seven months ago I found myself sitting at the bottom of my own cistern (or well). I looked up the tall walls and saw the blue sky above me, but I had no way out. Being covered in the mud and gunk that grief covers you with, my hands and feet were too slippery to grab a hold of anything. Each time I tried to climb out, I fell right back down.

I kept sitting there hoping and praying that someone…anyone would help me out of that cold, dark pit. Then one day, out of nowhere came this man. He saw me at the bottom of the pit and even though he didn’t know me; he rescued me. He was from a different place (just like Ebed-Melech). He didn’t know how I got in the cistern, but he saw me sitting there at the bottom and he made the decision to give me what I needed in order to get out.

I didn’t know who Bo Gray was at the time; all I knew was that I desperately wanted out of that well and he was there offering to help. Over the past seven months he has pulled and pulled on the ropes. He joined forces with my family and closest friends and he pulled with all of his might.

On Tuesday, I walked out of the well.

When I stood up and looked around me, all I could see were the faces of those I loved the most standing next to me. Each one had put their hands on the rope and pulled with him. I couldn’t help but notice the blisters on each one of their hands. The pulling lasted longer than they thought it would. The job was harder than they imagined. There were times when they had to step back and take a break from pulling, because it was just too hard. Some of them came back. Some of them gave up. Some of them tried to set the rope on fire. But, not Bo.

He kept pulling and encouraging and showing me the way out of the darkness. His kindness and gentleness were a steady presence even when I slipped back down and the pulling had to start over again. He coaxed me to keep trying, to focus on what was just ahead of me. He warned me not to look to far ahead, but to focus on each brick as I climbed up and be thankful when it was finally behind me. He defended me from the ones who wanted to see me fail and he dared them to try to harm me again.

When I reached the top of the hole this week, I touched the grass…and felt the wind…and saw the people still standing there holding the rope. I looked them in the eye and told them, “Thank You”. I never would have gotten out without their help, but they couldn’t have gotten me out without Bo’s decision to gather the rags and worn-out clothes to pad my arms under the rope. See, He saw the big picture. He knew that just a rope would eventually cut my arms too deep and I wouldn’t be able to make it out. So, he gave me what I needed in order to reach the top.

When I stood up on Tuesday, I realized that I could never thank everyone enough for helping me make it out. And, I looked into Bo’s eyes and saw something that I knew I couldn’t give back. This fight had been too hard. And, the wounds that I have inside my body are still too deep.

So, after all of these months of working together to get where we needed to be we decided that for now at least; our job is done. We have stuck together and given each other the courage we both needed to be able to face the future and our pasts. Bo has now headed back to his foreign land where his home and family are waiting for him. He has responsibilities and things that only he can handle in that land. He is needed, because his job here is finished. He pulled me out and set me free.

Me? Well, I am standing on the edge of the well looking back on how far I have just climbed. I’m examining my wounds and dusting myself off. I’m looking around at who is left. The people who didn’t leave, get tired, or give up. I’m realizing who walked away when I needed them the most.

I am also waking up to the fact that I need time to heal from the deep gashes that have appeared all over my body from my fight to the top. The deepest one is inside my chest where my heart used to be. I need my family and my girlfriends to help me dress those wounds. I need time to just rest and let God work inside of me. And, I need time to face the sadness that caused me to be at the bottom of the well in the first place.

Before we turned to walk away, Bo and I looked each other in the eye and knew we had no regrets. We had given it our best and he had helped me get to a place I never could have gotten to on my own. I don’t know how to say thank you for what he did. The only thing I can think of is to give him the honesty and respect he so greatly deserves. Men like him don’t come around often. His kindness, loyalty, gentleness, laughter, and determination gave me what I needed to keep going when all I wanted to do was give up.

I don’t know if our paths will cross again one day. We are both on long, lonely roads that only we can travel…and we have to travel them alone. Are we walking parallel to one another? Are we headed in the same direction? Are we going as far as the east from the west away from one another? I honestly don’t know the answer to that…only time will tell.

Right now I’m sitting here nursing my wounds and thanking God for sending someone into my life who wasn’t afraid to help me out of the cistern. I can only hope and pray that he feels like his efforts were worth it. I know that one day, he will be rewarded for doing what was right when it seemed like the whole world was trying to make him give up.

When you pray, please pray for Bo. Pray for God to open the doors that need to be opened for him and pray for peace to invade his life. I am. Also, thank God for sending him to me and my girls. We wouldn’t be where we are physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually without his help. This world needs more men like him and I pray that one day he will understand just how special and important he truly is in the lives of the people around him.

So, now I’m heading down the road of life alone…but not really alone. I have my two girls, my family, and my friends. I have a calling that I have to figure out and a life that I need to try to live. It’s not easy, but I know God has something in store for me if I listen and don’t give up. He gave me what I needed to get out of the cistern; He will give me what I need to move ahead now.

With a grateful heart and tear stained cheeks, I’m looking into the hills and preparing for whatever comes next…


It’s Just Not Easy…


OK, so y’all know by now I am all about telling the truth…right? I am. I have also found myself in a position to share my honest, raw, crazy life with the world. Why? God wants me to! I have stepped way outside of my own comfort zone in order to be obedient to the call God has placed on my life. And, it is not easy!

During this past year I have faced many trials. Many, many, many trials. I feel like I have learned how to cope reasonably well…but not in all things! What I am about to share with you will probably shock some of you…and I’m sorry about that…However, what God has done is too miraculous NOT to share…so I’m jumping off the cliff of my boundaries. Stop reading now if you aren’t prepared for what I’m about to say.

The week after Christmas last year was the single most difficult five days of my life. Yes, they were actually harder than this week was last year…if you can only imagine. During that week I battled with God and He gave me a new purpose and reason for living. As He revealed what He wanted from me; I could feel myself getting stronger on the inside, but I could not explain how exactly. I panicked when I fully understood what He was asking me to do. I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t do it. Mentally, Emotionally, and Spiritually I knew I was making progress back into the land of the living, but Physically I was struggling…big time.

See, I am an emotional eater. I go extreme when I am emotionally stressed out. I have zero self-control. I eat when I have no idea that I am eating. I eat for feel better…to just do something that I like for goodness sakes!! Of all of the things a single, sad woman could be out doing…I was only choosing to eat! I mean, we all have to eat to survive right? Yeah…I may have been a little heavy handed with the self-righteousness around that time.

In January, I realized I needed some help. I had spent three months not eating at all and BAM! all of a sudden I was eating everything in sight. So, I reached out for help.

A friend of mine had gone to the Eaton Clinic in Tuscaloosa and had a lot of great things to say about her experience. Seeing her post on Facebook inspired me to call and make an appointment. Before the appointment I did a whole lot of beating myself up mentally. I had known how to conquer that giant in my life by using my beloved Advocare supplements for four years. The guilt of “giving in” instead of doing the hard work that was necessary was really bad. I mean, I knew what I needed to do to get control…but I lacked the ability to actually do it.

The day of the appointment I remember sitting in the little room waiting for the doctor to come in and talk with me. I already knew what the diet would be and I knew the schedule I needed to follow. I had all of the knowledge…and none of the backbone. Anyway, I sat there waiting that day and when the door opened it wasn’t Dr. Eaton like I thought it would be…it was his nurse practitioner, Brandi.

This is where God showed up. Brandi looked at my non-made-up face, my slumped shoulders, and my frumpy outfit. One look told her how miserable I truly was and I saw raw compassion fill her eyes. She said, “Tell me why you want to be here”.

So, I did.

When I finished telling her my story, she stopped and stared at me. In that moment, Brandi was seeing a patient and she was telling her patient how to loose weight. She had her spill that she probably says a hundred times a day that she was attempting to say when I shared my story with her. She looked at me and shock filled her face. She quickly looked down at my file in her hands and immediately tears started rolling down her cheeks. She said, “Oh, Emily! I have prayed for you…and your sweet girls! I have worried about you…and I watched your husband’s funeral procession on the news. My husband and his brothers at the Fire Department have been so concerned about you! I can’t believe you are really sitting here! We just talked about you again last night. We prayed for you again…last night”.

I was shocked! I sat there in stone cold silence and just stared at her face. I watched her tears. I understood what she had just said, but I could not process it. Then, I looked at her and said, “Help me find Emily again. Please.” And, she did!

Over the next couple of months I lost twenty-five pounds. I felt so good and I found a new lease on life. I began to attempt living again…and I looked forward to seeing Brandi each time I went to the office. I knew she was praying for me and a praying friend is worth more than silver or gold. My quiver is full of those jewels!

Fast forward to June. We had just gotten back from our big trip and I was determined to finish the house. I poured myself into working on it and decided I did not have time to go to Tuscaloosa right now. So, I stopped trying. In fact, I gave in to every temptation I had been able to avoid for four years. Temptations like Mt. Dew, Large Sweet Teas, Chocolate Candy for breakfast, M&M’s like a fountain, and Fried Chicken Fingers by the bucket. Can you say…complete fail? Yeah…complete fail.

It was easy to fool myself into believing I wasn’t gaining too much weight because I didn’t touch a scale until we went Ziplining in the Mountains for Labor Day. When I read the number on that scale I literally almost blacked out!

Knowing the one year mark was coming up, I told myself that I would just get by in order to get through the first anniversary of Greg’s home going. I also realized that I may be strong in some areas…but I am NOT strong when it comes to self-control and/or emotional eating. I am weak…very, very weak!

I called a trusted friend who has literally helped me every step of the way so far. She helped me understand where I was at the moment and how I needed to give myself some grace.

I am my own worst enemy.

Anyway, after talking to her I decided it was time to call the Eaton Clinic again. I needed to make an appointment to get myself back on track ASAP. Guess when they had an opening? Yep! Tuesday, September 20th!! I could NOT believe it!

I walked in to the office that day and was immediately met by K-Love playing on the speakers…and Bible verses posted on every wall…and familiar faces sitting in the waiting room. That’s when I knew I was doing the right thing for me. Only…it doesn’t end there. Oh no…it does not end there!

I found myself again sitting in the little room waiting when the door opened and Brandi walked in. I noticed that she looked more stressed than she did the last time I had saw her, but I didn’t say anything. She was all business and I knew she didn’t realize it was me sitting there. All of a sudden she stopped, checked the file, and said, “Emily! How are you?!”

I told her how I was…and she listened. Then, she told me that she had ordered my book sitting in one of the rooms with another patient who was reading it one day! She said, “I’ll have to tell Dr. Eaton I was shopping online I guess!” LOL…and it warmed my heart that she truly wanted to read my book. It also humbled me that someone was reading it in the office!

Brandi also shared her story with me and asked me to pray for her by name…and I promised her that I would. I feel like I should apologize to the other patients who were there waiting that day, because she and I had a long conversation that had absolutely nothing at all to do with why I was there. That was a God thing.

The details of life are so very, very important to God. I realize that now. I had the head knowledge that they were…and now I have the heart knowledge as well. I had 365 days to prepare for that Tuesday. I had worried about it and stressed about it and cried about it a whole lot. Yet, I had no idea how God had planned it all out for my good!

I needed time alone. The drive to T-Town gave me that time. I needed confirmation that I was doing the right thing for me. I got that confirmation. I needed a new focus for this second year without Greg, now I have it. I needed to make some good memories on that day for me and my girls. We did that too.

Our “Daddy Day” celebration was hugely successful. We welcomed over one hundred people into our home that same Tuesday night. We had hugs and smiles and stories galore. I never dreamed that the day could be so wonderful. I am still overwhelmed by the outpouring of love we received.

Now I see…Year number one was all about survival. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

Year number two is about setting goals and crushing them.

Year number two is about teaching my girls to set goals and crush them as well.

I am so thankful that God has this whole thing called life planned out. I am so glad that I have a new reason to be obedient! I am also realizing that I am not taking the “easy” way out. I am asking for help where I am weak…so that one day I will be strong…and God has provided the people and the plan that will help me succeed.

If you are like me and you find yourself on the loosing end of the emotional eating battle…kick your pride to the side and get some help. I still have a long way to go, but I survived last year. I know I will crush the goals I have set for myself this year if I stay focused and connected. If I can do it…so can you!!

Please y’all…If you don’t hear anything else that I say, please hear this: The little details of your life matter…always. Nothing happens by chance or by accident. Listen to what God wants you to do and push yourself forward. You are making a choice to loose by not making a choice to win. You get that right? I didn’t…but boy hidey…I do now!

So there. The secret is out. Don’t waste a single moment by not telling it! LOL…and for the love of all things good…If you see me with an M&M…call me out! It takes the village to raise a child, and I’ve got some growing up to do!

Girls Trip!

Girls Trip!

Well, days like today do NOT come around very often. My friend Dwan and I drove down to the Alabama gulf coast yesterday morning. We both decided that we needed a break from reality, home, and life in general. I am so thankful that we did!

The radio is not working in Dwan’s car and since she had won the coin toss 2bf8c4b2-0b11-40cb-ac70-df176c9799cbfor who’s vehicle we were taking, she was worried that we would get bored on our ride down here. Uh, we did not get bored! We literally talked the entire five hours! Our lives are so busy and we rarely get to spend much time together so we had a lot to catch up on.

We stopped at Dirt Cheap (y’all know how much I love Dirt Cheap!) in Thomasville and I found several sets of sheets for the girls’ beds. Then, we drove on down to Mobile where we stopped at Cracker Barrel to eat lunch. It was so good!! Thank goodness!!

After lunch, we continued on South to Gulf Shores. We stopped at a nail salon in Foley before reaching our condo for a mani and pedi. By this point we were both feeling the stress of our real lives slip away and we were just having a good time.

After finding our condo for the weekend, we decided to check out a local restaurant that a friend of ours had suggested. All of the food is made fresh and is supposed to be very good. I personally would not know because I never got my food. For the full story…watch this video! It is kind of long, but trust me it is hilarious! LOL…


Two hours of laughing kind of wears one out. So, we turned in and decided to just rest and enjoy the sounds of the open doors and the rolling waves for the night.

This morning we did absolutely nothing. It was wonderful. We weren’t in a hurry to get anywhere; there were no kids to tend to; and we didn’t have the first plan for what we wanted to do except lay on the beach and soak up the sun.

Around 11:00 we decided to get ready to head down to the sand. Since I was half starved we ordered a Papa John’s pizza for lunch. I am so proud to say it was delivered on time and it was delicious!

The sky has been covered with clouds and the rain has fallen several times, but the sun does peak through every now and then. I took a little walk down the beach and noticed that there are A LOT of groups of women down here. I remembered that I had noticed quite a few groups of women last night as well…so it got me to thinking. Is this the unofficial Girls Trip weekend?

I was down here last year for my cousin’s wedding with my mom, sisters, and cousins around this same time. We had a ball and laughed a lot. This weekend I have laughed a lot too. Which makes me wonder: Are girl trips the answer to avoiding nervous breakdowns?! I’m gonna say a big ol’ huge YES!!

Girl trips are good for the soul. They help us remember who we are as individuals. Ya know? I have laughed and acted silly and made a 16 minute live video of me laughing which my normal “reserved” self would never have done at home! I have relaxed and watched my friend relax too. We have discussed our lives, our hopes, our dreams, our hurts, our anger, our kids, our jobs, and our spiritual battles. We have cried and we have been sad. Yet, my whole body feels relaxed.

I have not fully recognized just how sad I have been lately. I didn’t give myself enough credit for just being sad all over. I have been sad… all over.

Sitting here today listening to the waves and feeling this cool breeze makes me realize that my soul needed a break. I needed to be able to step out of my reality for just a few minutes and let all of the stress that is my life slip away. I am so thankful that God knew that I needed this and He worked it out. Dwan needed it too. Together we have both realized that sitting still and doing nothing is exactly what we needed.

Tonight we will go to dinner. I am hoping and praying it goes better than last night! You can bet I will make a video about it if it does not! LOL

If you are sitting at home feeling like you might loose your mind if one more person leaves clothes on the floor…or has another practice to be at…or needs a bill paid…or food to eat…hear me when I tell you this: Grab a girlfriend…or six…and head to the nearest beach, lake, cabin, or mountain and just let yourself relax. You are worth it!! It does matter and it will actually make you a better person.

I can already like myself more today than I did yesterday. It’s true!


So, make it happen. Do what you don’t think you can do. Drop everything and put yourself in a car with a friend, turn off the radio, and find YOU again! Your family, friends, co-workers, and spouses will love you more for it! It doesn’t have to cost a lot…but the rewards will last a very long time!

It may well be another whole year filled with life changing events before I find myself on another girls trip, but I hope not! I didn’t know how much I needed this one, but I am forever thankful that Dwan asked if I wanted to run away for the weekend…and that I said YES!!

Stepping out of your normal day to day and just stopping for a little while is good. Very, very, very good.


A Passionless Life is a Living Death

A Passionless Life is a Living Death


This past weekend, the girls and I used our Christmas presents and went to Dollywood. We all had season passes and since it was a holiday weekend, we figured it was the best thing to do. We had a great time! It was our second trip with just the three of us. We spent the entire weekend together and never saw one person that we knew. It was kind of odd…we always see at least one person that we know in the mountains!!

On Saturday I stood in line with Maggie and Linnie at the Fire Chaser Express. This ride is dedicated to the firemen (a strange coincidence…) of Sevier County, TN. As I stood in line, I absently clicked onto Facebook to pass the time. That’s when I saw my friend Miranda’s post. She was letting everyone know that her awesome husband had gone to Heaven early that morning. The tears rolled down my face in waves as I read her status. My heart broke for her in a million ways. The girls saw my tears and asked me what was the matter. I told them about Michael and that he was now in Heaven with their Daddy. We all just stood there and cried, because we knew all to well how much pain Miranda and her girls were in at that moment. I just tried really hard not to ugly cry…the poor people next to us just tried their best to not stare at the three of us crying our eyes out. I immediately sent Miranda a text and said a prayer for peace to invade all of their hearts.

Miranda and I had talked many times over the last few weeks. We both knew that this day was coming. We both realized that we would be kindred spirits knit together in this blanket of grief for the rest of our lives. We knew it was gonna happen in our minds…but nothing prepares your heart for when it actually does happen.

The next day we made it a point to be at church inside the park. Dolly Parton had the most amazing idea ever when she decided to put a real church inside of her amusement park. It is open to everyone each Sunday all year long. The little wooden structure is perfect. There are long wooden pews with song books and Bibles scattered across the tops. People pack in and even fill the choir loft so that more people can fit inside.

Mrs. Rose is the song leader. She has worked at Dollywood for 31 years…and she has lead the singing at that little church for the past 20 years. It was a  blessing for me to sit there and sing with people from all over creation. I am sure Mrs. Rose thinks it is a blessing as well!

On this particular day the regular minister was away, so Bro. Mark filled in for him. I have heard Bro. Mark speak on several occasions over the years and he always has a great message. One thing that makes him so great is that he is a Kindergarten teacher! Bro. Mark is in his late 50’s I would say and he is wonderful! Think Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood…so kind, so smart, and so understanding! His messages are always clear and easy to understand with a good dose of humor thrown in here and there. This week his message was entitled, “A Passionless Life is a Living Death”.

Bro. Mark said that living without passion…every day…is not really living. He encouraged all of us to live a life worth sharing. When he said, “It is not what happens to you…it is what happens when what happens to you happens” I was dumbfounded! He is so right!! God did not put us here to just go through the motions…he put us here to LIVE. But how are we supposed to live when our worst nightmares come true? His answer: Live FORWARD!

When we spend our life looking back, we loose sight of the possibilities of what is ahead. There is a purpose and a meaning for our past. We can learn from it. We can cherish it or we can hate it. Either way, the only reason to ever look back on it for more than a few moments is to learn from it. That’s the only reason to ever look back. We shouldn’t look back hoping to have what was…we should look back to learn what we want and need in the future. Isn’t that an awesome truth?

He used an example from the movie City Slickers. In the movie all of the characters tell about their best and worst days. Each person goes through his best day…and why. Then, each person tells about their worst day…and why. Bro. Mark challenged us to do the same thing. So, I did.

I looked back on that Sunday nearly one year ago, and I realized that my worst fear came true. I lost the one man I had ever loved with all of my heart. I couldn’t imagine living my life without him before that day. I would have to say that September 20, 2015 was the worst day of my life. Miranda might say that September 3, 2016 was the worst day of her life (she hasn’t, but she could I guess). I could also say that December 21, 2001 was the worst day of my life. That’s the day Dr. Jim took my 13-week old baby out of my tummy and we had to leave his (I always believed it was a boy) tiny body at the hospital. I will never forget how Greg wept as he drove us home that day without our baby.

The best day would have been January 9, 1999. Or, maybe it was July 9, 1999? Maybe it was May 18, 2006. No, that was probably the worst day….nope the best…uh…I’m really not sure. Both maybe? Or, maybe it was July 17, 2007. All of those days turned out pretty good actually.

Do you get where I’m going here? Looking back has taught me many, many lessons about life. I’ve learned to live, love, and learn from my past. But, I can’t stay in the past. I can only look back occasionally and learn from what I see. Living…truly living…happens now. Today…and every today that is to come in the future. The thing is…how am I gonna live those days?

I’ve tried real hard to live them sad. Trust me! I’ve done my dang-dest to mope and cry my way through more of them than I care to admit. Why? What did I get out of choosing to let those emotions rule me? Well, for one thing I was able to grieve. I have loved…and I have lost. How many people can truly say that? I was a lucky one. Miranda was lucky too.

Looking back helped me to deal with the huge loss that was my life. I’m still not sure what to do with myself most of the time, but I do know one thing for sure: I want to live a passionate life! I don’t want to miss a thing if I can help it!

I want to experience everything I possibly can! I want to see things that my mind can’t comprehend! I want to travel…and travel….and travel! I want to push myself past my comfort zone! I want to stretch the limits of what I am capable of doing! I want to make a difference in someone else’s life! I want to truly…honestly…deeply…passionately…LIVE!

It is a choice and it is not always an easy choice. Life itself is HARD. There are days that I swear are gonna kill me, but guess what? When I lay down at night…so far at least….I have always woken up the next morning. Do you know what that means? God is not finished with me yet. He has something He wants me to do. He has something He wants you to do as well. Don’t waste your life. Don’t live everyday looking back! Choose to look forward…and only look back when you need to learn something about yourself. Be glad and thankful for your past…all of it. Then, straighten your shoulders and charge forward.

God made us with a desire to learn. He gave us a sense of curiosity and longing to know more. His Word tells us that “if we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart”. How awesome is that?!

Today was a sad day for my sweet friend and her two little girls. It was a sad day for a small town who lost a great man…a great police officer…a great husband…a great father…a great friend. My heart breaks for my friend who is now walking along this road with me. It is time to mourn…and weep. It is time to be sad and wish that things were different….but they can’t stay that way forever. We must all decide once and for all to live lives that are full of passion and joy. I know Greg did that…Michael did that too. They finished their race…now it is up to the rest of us to pick up the pieces where they left off. We can’t live in the past, but we can learn from what they taught us.

Michael and Greg left legacies behind that few men can match. They made a difference in the world around them. They stood for what they believed and they didn’t back down when things got tough. They were both Godly men who were humble and kind. They loved their wives more than life itself. They spoiled their two little girls rotten and set the bar extremely high in the best daddy category. They were fine, Christian men who left this world entirely too soon. Yet, God had a plan for those two boys. He has a plan for all of the girls they left behind as well.

Today, my resolve to live a life full of fun and excitement was strengthened. I watched my sweet friend stand beside her man for the last time. I felt her sorrow and her hurt. I know how deep the hole is in her soul. I understand…but I won’t let her give up on life. Together she and I will face the rest of our lives head on. Pray for us. Pray for our girls. Pray for the lives affected by our losses. We can’t change were we are, but we can change our future. We can choose to live…and by doing so I truly believe we are making a difference. Time here is short, but oh so sweet!

Our lives will never, ever be the same…and that’s ok. I can only speak for myself, but I know that I don’t want “the same” anymore. I just want LIFE…abundant LIFE full of passion and living. I want to choose joy instead of sadness. I want to grow strong mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I want to go where I never dreamed I could go. I want to smile my real smile once again. Then, when it comes my time to leave I hope people will say: She truly lived until she died.


Chapter 14 maybe? Smile Again…


I’m not real sure what number this chapter will be, but I’m guessing it will be near the middle. My next book, Smile Again is a letter to myself. Within those pages I will have some very, very  low moments and some very, very high moments. One thing y’all know by now is that it will be raw, real, and honest. Hold on to your hats…this chapter is about to be as real as it gets…

“I’ve found a number of truths over the past ten months. I’ve searched them out and I’ve dug for answers when digging wasn’t easy. I’ve found myself standing still, mouth dropped open, staring at people who had just said something so hurtful and outrageous more times than I can count. I’ve gotten mad, cussed a lot, and thrown quite a few hissy fits. I’ve written things on my computer screen that burned my own eyes and I erased it before it could burn out someone else’s!

I’ve felt sorry for other people who have gone out of their way to run me down and talk about me behind my back. I’ve prayed fire and brimstone on several people’s heads and then kicked myself and crawled to God asking Him for forgiveness. I’ve failed miserably in my daily walk through this life and I’ve cried more tears in ten months than in all of the rest of my life combined.

My hurt, fear, anger, and disappointment with God, Greg, and life in general threatened to consume me at one point. And, I almost let it. Thankfully, I have a Mama and a God who love me despite my awful self. Without them holding me accountable, I don’t know what I might have done to more than one person in my life. I don’t back down easily, especially when I’m angry. However, it literally makes me sick to have to engage in arguments. I don’t handle those situations well at all. I don’t handle disappointing people or letting them down in any way easily either. I truly hate it. I prefer sunshine and rainbows…don’t you?

Too bad that’s not how life works. Man, I wish it were though!! Wouldn’t it be nice to just be able to sail smoothly through life with no worries, problems, losses, or tears? I blame Eve for all of this…a little self-control would have helped us all out girlfriend! Just a little smidge of SELF-CONTROL. Ugh!

Instead, she had to give in and eat that piece of forbidden fruit and the rest of us have to live with her extremely bad decision. It’s so not fair. Deep down inside of me is that really mean Emily that just wants to slap Eve until she turns blue. Ya know? I mean how selfish could she possibly be? One bite and every person ever to be created after her has to suffer. Seriously?!

I look around me today and I see so many people hurting. I have friends and family who are watching their loved ones loose their fight against cancer. I have people who share the pain and agony they are feeling with me now because they lost their spouse also. I am witnessing children who can’t figure out how to move forward without their parent and it breaks my heart. All because one woman didn’t exercise a tiny  bit of self-control.

Does that make anyone else mad? Or is it just me? Maybe I’m just MAD. Sometimes, I truly believe it helps to get rip roaring, guns blazing, sword swinging, chair throwing MAD. Jesus did. He got mad and he cleaned some plows. I believe I know exactly how he felt when he cleaned out that courtyard right about now.

I don’t know for sure, but I’d be willing to bet that those poor souls’ lack of self-control was the final straw for Jesus that day. We already know it was the final straw for Eve. Today, I’m saying it’s the final straw for me, too.

People who do not exercise self-control when it comes to running their mouths about things they know nothing about DRIVE ME INSANE. And, more than that….People who call themselves Christians and tilt their heads like they are holier than thou and talk about other Christians behind their backs make me want to throat punch them. Too bad I know how to exercise self-control in times like these…

I realized today that I truly am feeling emotions again. I haven’t “felt” anything for ten months. I’ve reacted to feelings by smiling, laughing, crying, and listening; but I haven’t FELT them. It’s just so weird. It’s also sad to me that the first thing I truly felt was anger. Why couldn’t it have been happiness? Why did my first feeling have to be anger? Dang you, Eve!

Hump. Well, I guess I have a choice to make. I can either stay MAD and find some tables to throw around…or I can take a deep breath and calm down. Which one will I choose? Probably the one that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg! Haha!

Seriously, I guess I just have to do like God does and forgive the ignorance and the lack of self-control some people have. I guess I’ll just pray for them and ask God to forgive my very, very bad thoughts about them as well. I guess I’ll just let all of the negativity roll off of my back like water off of a duck’s back. I refuse to be bitter. I refuse to be hateful, hurtful, or mean spirited. I refuse to let Satan win. I will run to my Savior and I will beg for him to protect me.

I’m not fighting this battle alone. Thank goodness!! It makes me sad to realize how awful this life can be, but it also makes me happy to know that this isn’t all there is! I’m gonna focus on the end goal. I’m gonna seek out happiness. I’m gonna do whatever it takes to not give in to my sinful self. And, I’m not gonna throw any tables around just yet.  I hope you see me trying, God. It’s so hard, but I am trying.” ~ excerpt from Smile Again, ©2017 by Emily Hubbert


Kindred Spirits

Kindred Spirits

A few weeks ago I was asked to speak at a ladies club meeting to be held at the public library in a local town. I was honored to be asked and excitedly marked the date on my calendar. The lady who contacted me was a very sweet woman with a wonderful Southern accent. We had several telephone conversations and I must say that I was more than a little bit excited to meet her in person.

When I walked into that library today, I honestly felt like I was on the set of Steel Magnolias. Mrs. Pat is one of the most vivacious, happy, outgoing women I have ever had the privilege to meet. She scooped me into a warm hug and introduced me to everyone in the room within minutes of my arrival. She spoke to both of the my girls; asked their names and ages; and then proceeded to introduce them to everyone in the room as well. All three of us were just kind of in awe for a few minutes. Kindness radiated from her very core and it didn’t take long to realize that everyone…young and old absolutely adored her.

Mrs. Pat introduced me to the crowd of about twenty ladies who were all a good bit ummmm…more mature than me. They had all gathered to hear my story and to talk about my book. Local authors, it seems tends to draw quite a crowd and each person wanted to hear about my book. I did not know before I started speaking that every lady seated around the room was a widow…except three or maybe four.

As I began to speak and share my story with the group I could feel God leading me to say some things that I haven’t said before. Now, I understand why. These ladies were kindred spirits. They had all walked the same road I am walking…and each one of them had a story that was just as raw and real as my own.

I talked for about thirty minutes and then the crowd lined up for me to sign their books. I was amazed as each lady told me snippets of her story as she passed through the line. The all had good Southern names like Barbara, Frankie, Joyce, Mary, Chloe, Dorothy, and Sarah. Most of them had children and grandchildren. Some had owned business. Some had been stay-at-home moms before there was such a thing. Some had been married for over 50 years…and one sweet lady had been widowed three times.

Listening to these ladies share their stories and seeing their faces as they talked opened my eyes to the truth of where we are: we are survivors. We are women who have dug deep into ourselves and our Bibles in order to keep on living. We have faced death and we made the decision to keep on going despite it. We face the same struggles, the same fears, the same sadness.

Frankie, who lost her husband just before Christmas kind of laughed through her tears when I quietly asked her if she was sleeping. She responded, “What’s that?”. “Oh, sweet lady,” I said, ” how I understand!”

And, Dorothy who drove from another county just to meet me. She told me our stories were very similar and she just wanted to meet me in person when she saw my article in the newspaper. The handwritten letter she slipped into my hand for me to read later proved that yes, yes our stories are very similar. I hope my eyes shine like hers when I am in my mid-eighties. I hope I seek out opportunities to be a blessing to others like she did for me today.

And, Joyce who was diagnosed with breast cancer on June 6 and lost her husband of over 40 years on June 10. She didn’t get to stop and grieve…she had to keep on going and she did. She’s doing great now. The smile on her face and the squaring of her shoulders proved it.

After each book was signed, Mrs. Pat invited everyone to go over to the local café for lunch. She had already reserved the side room and they were expecting us to be there…so we went. Maggie, Linnie, and I sat in the middle of a long table eating fried chicken, green beans, and chugging sweet tea as these wonderful ladies continued to share more of their lives with us.

We sat mesmerized as Mrs. Pat shared her kayaking adventure this past weekend…and we eagerly shared our own. We listened as tales were told of travels in the years past and plans for more in the future. We sat in awe of the colorful conversation about 3:00 a.m. games of Words with Friends. We listened as they talked about knowing each other was ok if they were up playing that “21st century game” in the wee hours of the morning. We laughed as Frankie smartly said, “I don’t CARE to be involved in the 21st century!” as Mrs. Pat teased her about her lack of knowledge in this area.

I also noticed that each lady had a piece of pie or caramel cake for dessert. I laughed when Linnie saw one lady eating more pie than chicken…Mrs. Pat noticed it too and made a comment about saving dessert for AFTER lunch. The lady smartly replied, “Why? It’s good and I always eat my dessert with my food. It makes everything else taste better”. Linnie shot me a look that clearly said, “SEE…she does it so why can’t I?”. The fact that the lady in trim, healthy, and in her mid-seventies kind of ruled out any reasons as to “why not”.

Maggie watched the ladies with a quietness that I often see her study things around her. She was soaking up everything each woman said and she was committing it to memory. We smiled at each other at one point because we both knew this was a day to remember.

Truvy I will forever treasure this day. Meeting these ladies. Seeing their smiles and hearing their laughter. I will remember them on the days I don’t think I can keep on going…and I will force myself to live each day to the fullest, because I saw them do it. I will continue to seek out the good times and I will let myself be sad over the old times. I will pick myself up and dust off my britches…and I will square my shoulders and keep on going. I believe my girls will also.

Thank you, God for today. Thank you for showing me what it looks like down the road. Thank you for showing me love and for the assurance that one day I will feel that emotion way down deep inside my heart again. I won’t be in survival mode forever…one day I’ll really be living again. I know that now, because of today. And, I am so thankful.


Prepare to be Amazed…

Prepare to be Amazed…

Do you keep a journal? I admit, I am not the most consistent journal keeper…but I have kept one (or more like seven!) over the past few years. This morning I decided to go back and read some of them.

Y’all…I am AMAZED at what I wrote! AMAZED I tell ya!

See, 2005 through 2012 were some really difficult years for me. I was desperate for change in my life and no matter how hard I tried it just seemed to get harder and harder. I wanted OUT of my stress filled life. I was sick of my life in general. I had put myself on auto pilot and was just kind of drifting through life with no real purpose. I guess you could say I was just going through the motions. I wasn’t really living.

On October 10, 2009 (My birthday!) I went to a Beth Moore conference in Memphis, TN with the ladies from my church. Here is what I wrote in my journal when I got home: “What a wonderful weekend! I enjoyed it [conference] so much! God has so much to say and I am trying to learn how I should listen. I tend to get in my own way too often.” Then, I listed my prayer concerns and numbered them.

Here is number 7:

     My dreams:

  1. Get my house back if it is God’s will
  2. Write a book in Your name (God’s name)
  3. Travel far and wide with my family
  4. The dreams You have for me ~ that they will be revealed in Your Time!

On June 23, 2011 I wrote:

 “Today is the first day of the rest of my life! Three years of emotional healing are complete ~ now the physical healing begins. We are moving back home soon. Being back on our land will be very exciting. God says, ‘I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper and heal you~ I believe that! The hard work is about to start, however I know that God has my back! I CAN do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! My list of long term goals and my bucket list follows. These are the things I want and pray that God allows me to do one day.’

Number One? TRAVEL!!!!

Number Seven? Hike as many mountain trails as possible!

Number Nine? Write a Book!

Number Eleven? Go Ziplining!!!

Do you have goosebumps yet? I know I do!!! As I kept reading I saw several exercises that I did that aligned with some books I was reading at the time. One such exercise came from The Path by Laurie Beth Jones. Here is what I wrote:

“My mission is to Appreciate, Motivate, and Write about Life for my family and other families. I want to travel near and far to reach out to those families. My dream life would look like this: I would be traveling often. I would be talking to many people and enjoying the small things more. I would be making people laugh and I would enjoy working. My kids would travel with me and we would try every new adventure we could find. I would write several books and put a fun spin on the everyday ordinary life – and get paid to write instead of writing for free. People would seek me out and ask me to speak. God, my savior would be glorified through me always”.

Andy Andrews said yesterday (on the CD I was listening to in my car…we are buds…he just hasn’t realized it yet! Ha!!) that we are in control of the path our lives take. We get to choose what happens and we set those things in motion when we write them down and persist without exception. I think he may be on to something there!! LOL

I am sharing this with y’all today because I KNOW that some of you are living on autopilot just like I was in 2009. I know that you are desperate for change and for things to get better. I know how lonely, desperate, and yep…jealous I was during that time in my life. I thought the grass was greener everywhere, but where I was and I wanted an easy way out of my misery….but I was WRONG!

Andy reminded me yesterday that the mountain tops are bare…and cold…and it’s hard to breathe. But, we find trees and flowers and living things in the valleys! Reaching the mountain top is a good goal…but we can’t stay there once we reach the top. We have to go back down and walk through the valleys again to gain the strength we need to climb the next mountain and reach the next goal. Reading my old journals reminded me that I have been walking towards a new mountain for a while now.

I never saw my life being like it is today. I didn’t see the devastating blow that would send me into a tail spin. I didn’t calculate that particular detail into my master plan…but you know what? I’m still moving towards my mountain top. I still have the same core goals that I have always had…I still have dreams of doing great things for God’s kingdom. I didn’t loose those dreams when my world imploded…they grew!

I hope this post encourages someone today. I hope that you see HOPE in your own future. I hope you are not nearly as miserable as I was (and still am some days). I hope you will set your life in motion and start walking towards your life mission. The only person that can start that process is YOU. Best of luck to ya…and remember you are not alone on your journey.


Does It Ever End or Get Better?

Does It Ever End or Get Better?

So, I need to vent for a minute. One year ago today I lost my grandmother. Today, I lost my great-uncle. I am in a never-ending war with my emotions. My anniversary was last weekend. Linnie’s birthday is this coming weekend. My house is not finished. I managed to hurt my back working on the house Saturday. I have four upcoming speaking engagements and YES, I am going back to work at WES in August. My grandfather is not doing well at all (he started radiation today).  I have to move into the house without Greg’s things: which means that I have to actually go through his closet and drawers soon. I have a list of people who need to grow up and get over themselves because their childishness is affecting my children and I won’t play nice much longer where my girls are involved. Basically, I am teetering on the edge of a massive nervous breakdown and all I want to do is go to sleep and forget about all of it. I have been so ill and plain out hateful to some of the kindest people in my life lately…and I could literally chew through nails at the moment. The only question circling through my mind over and over is: Does It Ever End or Get Better?

As I drove home from yet another trip to Lowes this afternoon, I was listening to Andy Andrews on my CD player. I have read The Noticer, The Noticer Returns, and now I am listening to Becoming a Noticer.  I realized in November 2012 that I needed to change some things in my life. A friend suggested that I start reading Andy’s books…and my life literally changed from that point forward. I did not realize how much it had changed until this afternoon!

It hit me as I drove home that I had written down a list of goals in 2012. I had that list tucked away in a cabinet…and I swiftly pulled that baby out as soon as I got home. I had written 122 things that I wanted to “acquire, become, see, get, and do in the next 10 years”. Do you know how many of those things I was able to check off the list today?


Seventy things like: Travel, Granite Countertops, Write a Book, Public Speaking, Smile Often, Meet New People, Have More Friends, Laugh A Lot, Help People, Study My Bible More, Share My Successes, Lead-Not Follow, Go See My Friends in Iowa, Take My Whole Extended Family on a Trip, Buy myself a Red/White Checkered Hand-Made Quilt, See My Girls Saved and Baptized, Love Unconditionally, Take 2 to 3 Week Vacations, Buy a Good Camera, Be Happy, Publish a Book, and Enjoy Everyday…

As I looked over that list of things I deemed important for myself and my family way back in 2012, I realized that on this particular day…I had dropped the ball. I gave in to my hurt…my anger…my pain. I longed for the days that used to be. I grieved for the passing of my loved ones. I got mad about the things I truly cannot do anything about…And, I asked myself over and over again if it will ever end or get better. July 11th  will always be a sad day for me and my family, but so will a whole lot of other days if I CHOOSE to allow them to stay sad.

Did you catch that? Sadness…just like happiness…is a choice. I can choose to stay sad…or I can choose to remember things about my loved ones that make me happy. Emotionally, it is good that I am sad for the losses me and my family have suffered so overwhelmingly lately, because it means that we truly LOVED. Having loved is a gift.

I sit here tonight and I realize that my stinkin’ thinkin’ was in overload today…but I will try again tomorrow.

I am sad…and being sad is OK.

Choosing to stay sad is not OK.

I have to choose to keep on going. Keep on living. Keep on doing the things that make me happy. Keep on fighting for my girls’ happiness. Part of me is really jealous that Me-Maw, Greg, Aunt Martha, and now Uncle Gene are already in Heaven. They don’t have to fight these emotional battles anymore…and that must be very nice. One day…that will be me.

Until then, I guess I’ll just stay here and stay real. Life is no bed of roses. It is HARD. Some days I’m sure you wonder if it will ever end too…right? I’m willing to bet you do!

Even with all of the horrible, tragic, unnecessary things going on in the world today we can all do one thing: We can choose to LOVE one another! We can choose not to give up or give in. We can make the decision every moment of every day to just love the people in our lives…and by doing so we won’t have to worry about when or if life’s misery will ever end. Misery is never going to end in this world, but take heart…Jesus has overcome the world and HE is coming back for His children soon. I, personally can not wait!

Choose to love each other…and yourselves while we are here y’all. Choose it…chase it…express it…and never, ever give up on it. Love until it hurts…and then love some more. Together, we can make it to the finish line!



Y’all…I don’t even know where to start! Over the past week I have had: my first radio interview, two book signings, a newspaper interview, six hundred (or very near!) text messages, phone calls, and Facebook posts, and who knows how many hugs. I literally cannot even begin to tell y’all how blown away I have been by all of your responses to Burdens!

When God put it on my heart to write this book, I was one more scared person. I had always wanted to write a book, but I never had a story. When God told me that the story I was supposed to write was my own…I didn’t believe that I could do it. Yes, I knew I could write…but I didn’t know I had the courage or the strength to let my life be an open book…literally!!!

The response to the book has been so encouraging…and so overwhelming! Everyday it seems to just get bigger and bigger! It’s fun to me that the ladies at the Post Office know me now…and they have been so very helpful! I love the fact that I have mailed books literally all across the U.S. because someone personally asked me to or because I wanted to say “thank you” to various people who have helped me and the girls over the past nine months.

My small little brain cannot comprehend the fact that so many people have read my story. I am just so humbled by the unbelievable response to my book. Every signing I have on my calendar is there because someone asked me to come to their town and share my story. Every church event, ladies event, and speaking engagement I have been asked to attend is because someone heard my story and was touched by it. That is alllllllllll God y’all!!

If you ask any author how hard it is to sell their books…they can come up with a hundred different reasons that explain how hard selling books can be. They all have a list of rejections…no’s…and excuses as to why their books aren’t selling. 99% of them only want their book to sell so that they can make money. And, making money is a great reason to write books…it’s a great reason to try to push the sale of a book…but that’s not my purpose for writing Burdens.

My purpose is to spread HOPE. I want to share with everyone how great God is and how He truly cares for the smallest details in our lives. I want to show the world that no matter how much you mess up or how far away you are from God…He still sees you and He will always love you.

I am so thankful that the book is selling, but it is more important to me that people be able to read it and share it with others. So, I have decided that everyone who wants a copy of my book should have one! Right now there are 150 copies of Burdens floating around for FREE. If you catch one…shoot me a text or email and let me know how you got it!  God is using Burdens to bring people to Christ…and I am so grateful that He called me to write and enjoy this part of the story.

Keep those eyes peeled y’all…because you NEVER know where you might find the next copy lying around! Of course, you can always keep on buying them and send them to all of the people you know all over creation…I’m totally ok with seeing new reviews and tags!  I don’t know and won’t know until sometime in November how many books have sold online for May, June, and July…So…share and share alike people!! To God be the Glory, because this is HIS story after all…I’m just along for the ride!


The Roller Coaster Ride


Hey Y’all!!! I am so sorry it has been so long since my last blog post! My only excuse is I have been BUSY!!! Since we got home from our AMAZING trip across the US I have worked practically non-stop on my house. We are getting soooooooo close to finishing it!! Yay…if we can keep from falling apart from exhaustion we should be finished in a couple of weeks. Pray for that…Please!

Today’s blog post is going to be about this roller coaster ride I have been on here lately with grief. By now you all know that my family loves amusement parks…right? Well, if you didn’t know…now you do! We LOVE them!

During our stop in Branson, we spent a day at Silver Dollar City. It was awesome! We rode every roller coaster there…well Bo and Maggie did! Garrett and I chickened out on one of them called “The Powder Keg”. There’s just something about being shot like a bullet from 0 to 70 mph in three seconds, then dropping straight down only to end the fall in a double loop that just scares me silly. Ya know?

Anyway, Bo and Maggie called us every kind of chicken on earth and then some because we would not ride it with them. We tried…even got in line…then decided we needed to go to the restroom so we lost our spot. That wasn’t intentional or anything…

We watched them shoot out of the little building and were immediately reassured that we did NOT want to get on that coaster. The fear of riding it overshadowed the fun we might experience if we got on it. I was good with giving in to that fear…still am. Bo and Maggie thought it was the best one they had ever ridden. Whatever.

I was sitting here thinking about that roller coaster and God showed me that I am on an even scarier roller coaster ride in real life at the moment. C.S. Lewis wrote in A Greif Observed: “In grief, nothing ‘stays put’. One keeps emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I’m on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?”

I have gone through some major spirals here lately. I thought for a while there that I was making good progress trying to find my feet in life again…and I was! Then, I went tumbling down again and I realized that I still have a long way to go. And, you know what? That is ok!

I have a hard time giving myself permission to grieve. I have a hard time grasping the truth of my life. I was talking to my Mama about all of it the other day and she shared a message her preacher talked about last Sunday. The message was about Jesus when he calmed the storm. (Matthew 8:18, 23-27; Mark 4:35-41, Luke 8:22-25).

Like most people when I have read that story in the past I have always thought that the amazing part was that Jesus spoke to the wind and waves and they obeyed him…and that part is amazing. BUT, it is not the part we should focus on!

If you go back to the beginning of the passage you see that Jesus said, “Let us go over to the other side”. So, they all got in the boat and set sail. Jesus was very tired. Like, very, very tired (I know how he felt!) so he laid down and went to sleep. He was calm, cool, and collected. He relaxed and went to sleep. A storm came up “suddenly” yet he still slept. Everyone around him on the boat started freaking out! Yet, Jesus slept. They actually had to wake him up when they got so scared that they didn’t know what else to do.

When Jesus woke up he asked them, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”. See, Jesus had told them what was going to happen before he ever went to sleep. He said, “Let us go over to the other side”. The storm was irrelevant, because He had determined to go to the other side. The storm that caused everyone else on the boat to freak out didn’t mean a thing to Jesus, because He knew it couldn’t kill him…or hurt him…or destroy him. So, he went to sleep with complete confidence that no matter what…he and his shipmates were going to reach the other side. Man! Isn’t that awesome?

So many times lately I have found myself in the middle of the storm. Wringing my hands, crying out for help, and shaking with fear…but God has already shown me how it ends. If you have read my book, Burdens then you know he gave me that answer in Jeremiah 33:10-14.

This roller coaster ride called grief is tough. It is not fun at all, but I am on it and there are no other choices except to ride it out until the end. I don’t know when the end will come, but what I do know is that God has promised me that it will end and I will be restored.

When we love someone or something…it always ends in sadness. Did you know that? I haven’t ever thought about it, but its true. I read a blog this morning and this is part of what it said:

“When we accept the reality of heartbreak, it can open our hearts to love, rather than keep us from it. Here’s why: If we are afraid of getting hurt and insist on arranging our lives to avoid grief, we forfeit the chance to love because, as Lewis stated, grief and pain are always love’s price tags. On the flip side, when we accept the inevitability of heartbreak, we are one step closer to developing the courage it takes to love, no matter the cost.”

I hope this helps someone besides me! It takes courage to keep going when you have a broken heart. It takes courage to let yourself love someone again. It takes courage to say that the pain of loss is worth the risk of letting go and allowing your heart to love again.

And, when I say love again I mean love at all.

Love for yourself.

Love for your kids.

Love for your family.

Love for your friends.

Love for your future spouse.

Allowing love AT ALL takes courage. Just like stepping onto that roller coaster takes courage. Just like crossing the sea in a storm takes courage, choosing to allow love to flow through you after you have been crushed takes courage.

I am praying daily for God to continue to give me courage. I don’t know how long I will live on this Earth, but I do know I want to love again. I want to be happy and I want to live for God, because He loves me more than I will ever realize. He loves you too and wants that for all of us.

As I keep moving along this roller coaster ride, I am looking for fun and trying to let go of fear. It’s not easy. In fact, it is the toughest thing I have ever done! But, God has given me the ending and I may be riding the roller coaster through the storm…but I will be ok. I’m pretty thankful for that knowledge this morning!

Have a happy day y’all! I hope to see y’all again real soon!