Monthly Archives: July 2017

The Camping Trip Straight Out of Deliverance!

Standard

I promised ya’ll a great story…and I’m here to deliver on that promise. If you have ever heard the dueling banjos from the movie Deliverance…let it start playing in your mind right now. You will thank me later! (I can’t get the link to upload…and the clip has some terrible language in it so I won’t share it…just google it if you need a refresher!)

This story begins last Friday, July 21, 2017.  We had planned to go camping at a new place and I had made the reservations online. Having never been to this particular campground before, we were not real sure what to expect. Tracy (my sis), her family, and my parents had been there recently and they all had great things to say about it. I’ll spoil this blog by saying…I do NOT have great things to say!

Anyway, it was 98 degrees outside that day. In Alabama that means 200% humidity or sweating weather. We sweat just walking out the door here, so you can imagine how sweaty and hot we were just hooking everything up in order to leave. It was ridiculous. Since we had to wait on Heath to get home from work, we didn’t actually get to leave the house until 5:30 or so. We didn’t even get to the 4-way stop by our house before Heath called and reminded me of two things we needed. I had to get gas in the truck so I went to the gas station then back home while Heath stopped by a store to check on an item that he didn’t even end up buying. When I called him he was ahead of me on the highway so we didn’t see each other again until we were within twenty minutes of the place we were going. He had pulled over and was waiting on me to catch up. When I saw him, he pulled out behind me and we went on to the campground. So far, so good. Right? Right.

We turned into the campground road and followed it way back into the woods. I approached the gatehouse (since I was in the first vehicle) and no one was there. In every other campground we have visited they have a number listed that you call and you can go on to your sight (since we were preregistered). I pulled up and Heath attempted to call the number on the window. No answer.

He told me he couldn’t get anyone on the phone so I pulled out my phone to find the reservation (and could know which number site we were in). I found the info and said, “Let’s just go to our site. We can call them in a few minutes”. So, that’s what we did. Only, this campground had a gate with a keypad that you are supposed to use to get into the main camping area located down the road into the campground. You can’t see it from the main gatehouse. Please…ask me if that code was on my reservation. No, no ma’am it was NOT.

Lucky for us, this gate also had a phone number to call in case you were unfortunate enough to NOT have a code. So that’s what I did. I got my handy dandy little phone out and I dialed that number. A man answered. I told him that we had reservations and needed the code to enter the park. He then proceeded to ask me my name, phone number, address, and site that I had pre-booked. I provided the information…like any good criminal would and asked (nicely) for the code. AGAIN.

The man’s voice starts telling me “Pound, #, #, 5, #, 5). Well, since he was silent between the pound and the number 5 I began repeating him. I figured he was waiting on me during the pauses.

No…no people he was NOT waiting on me.

He was going in and out of service and I was only catching the # and 5. This is when he started yelling. Loudly…#! 5! #!5! #!5!….and I started yelling #5! #5! #5! Back at him. This went on for about 45 seconds longer than necessary because the next thing I hear is this man yelling at me saying: “IF YOU WILL JUST SHUT UP YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HEAR ME!”

Can you just imagine my face? Like, it went from shock…to awe…to LIVID. Just that fast. When I tell you I got mad I am NOT kidding. If you know me you can start laughing right now. Honestly, can’t you just see my face and the rage that immediately took over my entire body. From the ground up I was shooting flames and the thoughts going through my head would have scalded that man’s ears had I let them fly out of my mouth. Thank the LORD he delivered me because by some miracle I didn’t say anything. I simply hung up on the “Uh…Man”.

This is the point where I marched my mad little tale back to the truck where my unsuspecting husband of 21 short little days was waiting. Well, as I approached his window I could tell that he recognized the split second before I threw my phone at him that I was TICKED. He caught the phone and looked at me like I had lost my mind….and I was not far from it at that moment. I told Heath that he could call that Uh…Man (ha!) back and get the code. Otherwise I was going to drive through the freaking gate and he was welcome to follow me. I was past livid as I spun around on my heel and marched back to the truck.

Of course, Heath called and the Uh….Man gave him the code with no problem. Heath calls me, I type it in and head straight for our campsite (that I pre-booked online). Guess where it was? Yep…you guessed it! Right across the flippin’ street from the Uh…Man (ha!).  Ugh…how I wish this was the end of the story. It is not.

The time is now nearing 8:00 p.m. We had a friend of Maggie’s with us so she and my girls jumped out ready to get things set up. We had planned to ride around in the boat for a while before it got too dark. Ha! How silly we were to think we would be able to do that at this point!

As we were getting everything set up (me inside, Heath and the kids outside…all of us soaking wet with sweat again) the Uh…Man drives up on his spiffy little golf cart. He tells the kids that he needs to give me some information. Maggie comes to the door and said, “that man needs to see you”. I poked my head out the door and said, “Well, he can wait. I’m busy right this moment” and I slammed the door.  Poor Heath was just trying to get finished so he could change out of his soaking wet clothes. He heaved a heavy sigh and slowly walked over to the Uh…Man.

At this point all my Dear Husband wanted was food, air-conditioning, and dry clothes. It was late, he had been up since 4:00 a.m. and he was ready to call it a day. Bless him.

When he walked over to the Uh…Man sitting on his spiffy little golf cart he had no clue what was about to happen. The Uh…Man gave him the necessary paperwork for our campsite. He also proceeded to tell him that no vehicles could be parked on the grass. There was a $150 fine PER TIRE sitting on the grass. Until this point, Heath had been cool, calm, and collected. However, now the Uh…Man was saying that his beloved bass boat had to be parked in a parking lot located half a mile away and left there the whole time we were to be camping. Let me just fill you in on a few quick facts about my husband. He is a retired Marine. He is a neat freak. He takes better care of his boat than most people do of their children. He is very close to having full blown OCD. And, he had someone who wanted to buy the boat the next week. Does anyone see where this is going?

After taking time to actually ride down to the afore mentioned parking lot, Heath calls the Uh…Man’s cell phone (yet again) and tells him that his suggested plan will not work. At. All.

Heath offers to rent (at full price) the campsite next to us so that he can park the boat there for the weekend. The Uh…Man says, “No. You have to have a camp structure on the spot for it to be rented.” Heath tells him we have a pop-up canopy and the Uh…Man tells him that it has to have closed in sides to be considered a camp structure. So, basically it was either park at the parking lot where “I told you to park” or nothing. Can you feel that rage building yet?

What did we do you wonder? Well, we put everyone into the truck; rode around until we found a bigger campsite; called that same cell phone number AGAIN; told him we were moving sites; and went back to site #1 to unhook everything and move. Yes, yes we did. The time now is nearing 9:00 p.m.

I’ll save your eyes the pain of reading the next two hours worth of hollering, eye-rolling, sweating, and cussing under our breath. Honestly, it was so bad that I was seriously surprised to see my brand-new husband still there when we finally got everything setup at the new campsite. It was awful. Then, I still had to fix some supper!!

I had planned to cook taco salad for supper, so I pulled out the hamburger meat and tried to turn on the cooktop in the camper. The pilot light would not come on. I tried again. No pilot light. The gas was not working…or we were out. Who knew at this point? The kids were sitting like piranhas on the coach, Heath was pacing back and forth inside the 9,000 degree camper (because we had just now turned on the A/C), and I could not get the flipping gas stove to work!!

Go ahead and ask me if I could find a flashlight…or if the door got slammed and it messed up…or if the hook that holds the rack for towels & rags broke off the bathroom door…or if we got eaten alive by bugs as we set up the outside stuff…or if the bathhouse right across from us was in working order…or if Heath ate more than three bites of the supper that I finally sat in front of him at 10:27 p.m. Please….ASK ME.

At 10:43 I picked up my phone and saw a text message from my sister Tracy. She, my Mama, Emma, and Garrett were in Waco, TX and she had sent me a bunch of super cool pictures. I replied to her text with “So cool!!” and a whole bunch of Smiley faces.

Then, I sent her this text: “We are on the camping trip from Deliverance. Hell. We are in hell.”

To which she replied: “Awe it is so hot outside. What happened?”

I responded: “Do you have like 3 hours?! We are literally in hell. I’m either going to go into hysterics laughing or slap crazy screaming like a banshee.”

She responded: “LOL”. That’s sister code for…Oh Lord…this must be BAD.

The next day didn’t go much better. I had bought a brand new tube & rope to use behind the boat (that I didn’t know was gonna be sold!) and almost got drowned on it. It wasn’t blown up enough, the boat ran hot, the water in the lake was hot, there were 5,000 boats on the water, the wakes were ten foot tall, and the tube had to be held by hand as we ran 60 mph on the water because that’s how bass boats run. I won’t mention the fact that the tube blew out of the boat nearly ripping my little finger off of my right hand, or the fact that the ladder didn’t get put back up and was pounding against the fiberglass bottom of the boat unbeknownst to us, or that when we loaded the boat back onto the trailer I didn’t pull it tight enough and we had to re-load it. Or that the “motor-tote-er” got bent.

 If you are still reading, please understand me when I say THANK THE LORD we made it home in one piece! We woke up Sunday morning like we had fire in our veins! We had that place broke down and loaded up faster than lightning! We could NOT get out of there fast enough. And, do you want to know what the Uh…Man said when he flagged us down…as we were squalling tires to get out of there?

“Glad y’all came! Please leave us a review on this little card here and come back real soon!”

You betcha there, Uh…Man. You betcha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Not a rat’s chance!

I wonder where we will go camping next?

How the Gypsy Got Caught in the Cowboy’s Webb…A New Chapter Begins

Standard
How the Gypsy Got Caught in the Cowboy’s Webb…A New Chapter Begins

Well, a lot has been happening behind the scenes over the past few months. A. LOT. I was sitting here tonight and got to thinking about just exactly how much and I started to laugh. It truly is quite comical.

See, on this day last year I was very close to having a complete nervous breakdown. My 17th wedding anniversary would have been the next day (7-9-16) and I was celebrating it with a friend who had been my friend for thirty-seven years by Zip-lining through the trees in a State Park. My house was nearing completion; I was headed back to work soon; and I missed my husband something awful. I was “dating” someone who truly helped me to heal in ways he will never understand and I couldn’t give him what he really wanted in life. Add all of that to the emotions that I was battling constantly; two girls who I was solely responsible for; and about a million other little things and you had the makings of one more nervous breakdown!!!

Fast forward one year to this day: July 8, 2017. I have officially been married to the man of my dreams for one week. Let me introduce you to my husband, Heath Webb.

us2

 

Heath and I met because of his adorable little boy who I happened to know from school. We had talked numerous times by phone and many text messages, but it wasn’t until late April that he and I became Facebook friends. When I saw his profile picture I must admit…my heart did a flip flop in my chest. He really is just that good looking. I could not wait to actually meet him in person one day.

I was already friends with his ex-wife at the time and because they knew me on a professional level; I kept it that way. Until the day I changed my relationship status on my Facebook page. See, Heath thought I was married. He had no clue who I was; what my story was; or anything else about me personally until Facebook. When he saw that I was in a relationship he said that he just watched me from the outside and that I seemed like a fun person; but he wouldn’t attempt to talk to me if I was seeing someone else.

Well, the day my status changed is the day he decided it was ok to talk. I may have encouraged him to talk a little more those next few days to let him know I was most defiantly interested in getting to know him better; but I wasn’t just gonna throw myself out there by admitting I was attracted to him either. A girl must be careful…especially these days.

We started texting one another a little more every day, until one day he asked if he could use the little device in my hand to call and hear me talk instead of reading the words I was typing with my fingers. I laughed and said yes…and that started this whole love affair.

The day he asked me out on a date, I as very conflicted. I wanted to go so bad I could taste it, but I also had a professional and personal responsibility to his child and his ex-wife. So, what did I do? I called her up and told her that he had asked me out…and I asked her if she minded if I went out with him. After several seconds of silence, she said, “It’s about time he asked someone good out.” And the rest as they say…is history!!

Our first official date was to a Japanese steak house where we sat and talked throughout the whole meal. We laughed and just plain out enjoyed our time together. He asked me if he could see me again and we have been together literally every single day since then except maybe five…and those we spent texting back and forth non-stop.

I am reasonably sure that we fell in love with each other at almost the same moment. It was just crazy how well we fit together in our thoughts, ideas, and beliefs. He had been raised in the church and had an enormous amount of Bible knowledge. I was so surprised when he offered to pray before every meal…no matter where we were or who was with us. He told me his story and I told him mine. We had been together for several weeks before he even realized I had written a book. It was over a month before he actually read it.

By the time he read my book we were already crazy about each other. He was the first person I talked to every morning and the last one I talked to at night. I told some of my closest friends that I would marry him the day after our first date. When I saw who Heath Webb really was…I was like a moth to a flame. He made me want to live again. Really live. Not just go through the motions…truly live. He made me want to settle down and quit running. He was a soothing wind to my gypsy soul.

Then, I pulled out my notebook. I wrote a list after Greg died of the things I wanted in a husband. I also wrote letters to my future husband. The day I claimed Jeremiah 33:11-16 as my promise from God that I WOULD love someone again…that I WOULD have joy and gladness within the walls of my home again…that I WOULD have laughter and the sounds of bride and bridegroom in my life again…I began to write letters to him.

In those letters, I wrote what I was doing…how I was struggling to survive alone. How I wished I could open my heart and truly love someone again. I wrote about the things I did and the things I wanted to do. I prayed for him and I asked God to prepare him…and I wondered what he was doing while we both waited for God’s timing.

I had no idea that God truly was preparing Heath for me during those days. He had been divorced for six years. He had dated people and he had been alone more than anything. He had struggled to keep going, keep trying, keep living. He just went through the motions and got to the point where he was tired of asking God to send him a woman who he could love forever. He didn’t think real love, kindness, or devotion was even possible at this point in his life. He told me that he had even told God that he didn’t want to be a part of his plan anymore if all he was going to have to look forward to was being alone and miserable for the rest of his life.

Then, out of the blue here I came like white lightning and changed his whole world. Just like he did mine. That was sooooo a “God thing”! Neither one of us could fathom that we had crossed paths. It was just too weird that we were seeing our prayers and dreams being reflected in each other’s eyes and words. We knew we had found “the one” almost instantly.

And, the biggest blessing of all? Kids at weddingOur children LOVED each other from the first moment they met. That was also a “God thing”.

Our kids are actually the reason we got married like we did last Saturday! We had talked about getting married maybe “in November” and Maggie…my child who never says anything about her feelings…said, “Uh…I don’t think so!”. We laughed and said, “Well we could wait until next April or May maybe.” To which she smartly responded, “Uh…NO. I would not even give you until November…I sure ain’t giving you to next year!” And, so we started looking at dates on our calendar.

We settled on October 14, 2017 and that seemed to please everyone. camperUntil we bought a camper.

Knowing we wanted to take trips together as a family and knowing we had to set a good example for ourselves and our four kids we decided that we would just go to the mountains and elope in mid-July. Everyone in our close circle was happy about that plan except for my Daddy, brother, and best friend. They all had to work and would not be able to be there at that time…and that was unacceptable. So, I had a conversation with my Mama and we decided that we could pull a wedding off in two weeks…and that is exactly what we did.

I can’t say that it was all fun and games…because it was NOT. But, I can say that it turned out amazing and I am so glad that we had the wedding that we had with our family and friends there to help us celebrate the beginning of our new life.

Tomorrow would have been my 18th wedding anniversary. It feels so weird that this year I am able to look back on that day with happiness in my heart. I will always love Greg Hubbert. He will always be my first love of a lifetime…my friend…my kid’s daddy. His place in my life will always be the same. He just finished his race before I did and I was his “to death do us part”.

FamilyNow, I have a new husband. A new friend. A new love of a lifetime. He will be my “’til death do us part” or I will be his. Either way…we are in this life together for the rest of our “Earthly Ever”. I am so thankful for God’s love, mercy, and grace. I am so thankful for a heart that was healed and made bigger after it was shattered. I am so thankful for a Father who saw me cry out to Him and He was faithful to provide exactly what I needed when the time was right. I don’t know why He does the things He does. What I do know is that I am so happy I could cry tears of joy at any moment.

I pray that my story helps you see that there truly is HOPE after DESPAIR. God does love you and He does care about the small, little details of your life. He does…Heath and I are both living proof of His love. He brought us both through some dark, sinful, dreary, miserable days…and He has made us new again in His image. We are so blessed and so excited to see what’s next for this wild and crazy band of Cowboys & Gypsy’s on 3GirlHill. We are just as surprised as everyone else and are looking forward to finding out “what’s next”…

Love to you all,

Emily Webb…the Gypsy that the Cowboy caught in his Webb.dance.jpg