Monthly Archives: September 2016

The Bottom of the Cistern


6So they took Jeremiah and put him into the cistern of Malkijah, the king’s son, which was in the courtyard of the guard. They lowered Jeremiah by ropes into the cistern; it had no water in it, only mud, and Jeremiah sank down into the mud. 10The King commanded Ebed-Melech the Cushite, “Take thirty men from here with you and lift Jeremiah the prophet out of the cistern before he dies. 11So, Ebed-Melech took the men with him and went to a room under the treasury palace. He took some old rags and worn-out clothes from there and let them down with ropes to Jeremiah in the cistern. 12Ebed-Melech the Cushite said to Jeremiah, “Put these old rags and worn-out clothes under your arms to pad the ropes.” Jeremiah did so 13 and they pulled him up with the ropes and lifted him out of the cistern. And Jeremiah remained in the courtyard of the guard.” ~Jeremiah 38:6; 10-13

This week has been filled with emotions. Lots and lots of emotions, but the odd thing is…I still can’t feel them. It is so weird! I go through the motion of using the appropriate responses to certain emotions, but I can’t feel them on the inside. I am both thankful and upset by this situation. Here’s why:

Seven months ago I found myself sitting at the bottom of my own cistern (or well). I looked up the tall walls and saw the blue sky above me, but I had no way out. Being covered in the mud and gunk that grief covers you with, my hands and feet were too slippery to grab a hold of anything. Each time I tried to climb out, I fell right back down.

I kept sitting there hoping and praying that someone…anyone would help me out of that cold, dark pit. Then one day, out of nowhere came this man. He saw me at the bottom of the pit and even though he didn’t know me; he rescued me. He was from a different place (just like Ebed-Melech). He didn’t know how I got in the cistern, but he saw me sitting there at the bottom and he made the decision to give me what I needed in order to get out.

I didn’t know who Bo Gray was at the time; all I knew was that I desperately wanted out of that well and he was there offering to help. Over the past seven months he has pulled and pulled on the ropes. He joined forces with my family and closest friends and he pulled with all of his might.

On Tuesday, I walked out of the well.

When I stood up and looked around me, all I could see were the faces of those I loved the most standing next to me. Each one had put their hands on the rope and pulled with him. I couldn’t help but notice the blisters on each one of their hands. The pulling lasted longer than they thought it would. The job was harder than they imagined. There were times when they had to step back and take a break from pulling, because it was just too hard. Some of them came back. Some of them gave up. Some of them tried to set the rope on fire. But, not Bo.

He kept pulling and encouraging and showing me the way out of the darkness. His kindness and gentleness were a steady presence even when I slipped back down and the pulling had to start over again. He coaxed me to keep trying, to focus on what was just ahead of me. He warned me not to look to far ahead, but to focus on each brick as I climbed up and be thankful when it was finally behind me. He defended me from the ones who wanted to see me fail and he dared them to try to harm me again.

When I reached the top of the hole this week, I touched the grass…and felt the wind…and saw the people still standing there holding the rope. I looked them in the eye and told them, “Thank You”. I never would have gotten out without their help, but they couldn’t have gotten me out without Bo’s decision to gather the rags and worn-out clothes to pad my arms under the rope. See, He saw the big picture. He knew that just a rope would eventually cut my arms too deep and I wouldn’t be able to make it out. So, he gave me what I needed in order to reach the top.

When I stood up on Tuesday, I realized that I could never thank everyone enough for helping me make it out. And, I looked into Bo’s eyes and saw something that I knew I couldn’t give back. This fight had been too hard. And, the wounds that I have inside my body are still too deep.

So, after all of these months of working together to get where we needed to be we decided that for now at least; our job is done. We have stuck together and given each other the courage we both needed to be able to face the future and our pasts. Bo has now headed back to his foreign land where his home and family are waiting for him. He has responsibilities and things that only he can handle in that land. He is needed, because his job here is finished. He pulled me out and set me free.

Me? Well, I am standing on the edge of the well looking back on how far I have just climbed. I’m examining my wounds and dusting myself off. I’m looking around at who is left. The people who didn’t leave, get tired, or give up. I’m realizing who walked away when I needed them the most.

I am also waking up to the fact that I need time to heal from the deep gashes that have appeared all over my body from my fight to the top. The deepest one is inside my chest where my heart used to be. I need my family and my girlfriends to help me dress those wounds. I need time to just rest and let God work inside of me. And, I need time to face the sadness that caused me to be at the bottom of the well in the first place.

Before we turned to walk away, Bo and I looked each other in the eye and knew we had no regrets. We had given it our best and he had helped me get to a place I never could have gotten to on my own. I don’t know how to say thank you for what he did. The only thing I can think of is to give him the honesty and respect he so greatly deserves. Men like him don’t come around often. His kindness, loyalty, gentleness, laughter, and determination gave me what I needed to keep going when all I wanted to do was give up.

I don’t know if our paths will cross again one day. We are both on long, lonely roads that only we can travel…and we have to travel them alone. Are we walking parallel to one another? Are we headed in the same direction? Are we going as far as the east from the west away from one another? I honestly don’t know the answer to that…only time will tell.

Right now I’m sitting here nursing my wounds and thanking God for sending someone into my life who wasn’t afraid to help me out of the cistern. I can only hope and pray that he feels like his efforts were worth it. I know that one day, he will be rewarded for doing what was right when it seemed like the whole world was trying to make him give up.

When you pray, please pray for Bo. Pray for God to open the doors that need to be opened for him and pray for peace to invade his life. I am. Also, thank God for sending him to me and my girls. We wouldn’t be where we are physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually without his help. This world needs more men like him and I pray that one day he will understand just how special and important he truly is in the lives of the people around him.

So, now I’m heading down the road of life alone…but not really alone. I have my two girls, my family, and my friends. I have a calling that I have to figure out and a life that I need to try to live. It’s not easy, but I know God has something in store for me if I listen and don’t give up. He gave me what I needed to get out of the cistern; He will give me what I need to move ahead now.

With a grateful heart and tear stained cheeks, I’m looking into the hills and preparing for whatever comes next…


It’s Just Not Easy…


OK, so y’all know by now I am all about telling the truth…right? I am. I have also found myself in a position to share my honest, raw, crazy life with the world. Why? God wants me to! I have stepped way outside of my own comfort zone in order to be obedient to the call God has placed on my life. And, it is not easy!

During this past year I have faced many trials. Many, many, many trials. I feel like I have learned how to cope reasonably well…but not in all things! What I am about to share with you will probably shock some of you…and I’m sorry about that…However, what God has done is too miraculous NOT to share…so I’m jumping off the cliff of my boundaries. Stop reading now if you aren’t prepared for what I’m about to say.

The week after Christmas last year was the single most difficult five days of my life. Yes, they were actually harder than this week was last year…if you can only imagine. During that week I battled with God and He gave me a new purpose and reason for living. As He revealed what He wanted from me; I could feel myself getting stronger on the inside, but I could not explain how exactly. I panicked when I fully understood what He was asking me to do. I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t do it. Mentally, Emotionally, and Spiritually I knew I was making progress back into the land of the living, but Physically I was struggling…big time.

See, I am an emotional eater. I go extreme when I am emotionally stressed out. I have zero self-control. I eat when I have no idea that I am eating. I eat for feel better…to just do something that I like for goodness sakes!! Of all of the things a single, sad woman could be out doing…I was only choosing to eat! I mean, we all have to eat to survive right? Yeah…I may have been a little heavy handed with the self-righteousness around that time.

In January, I realized I needed some help. I had spent three months not eating at all and BAM! all of a sudden I was eating everything in sight. So, I reached out for help.

A friend of mine had gone to the Eaton Clinic in Tuscaloosa and had a lot of great things to say about her experience. Seeing her post on Facebook inspired me to call and make an appointment. Before the appointment I did a whole lot of beating myself up mentally. I had known how to conquer that giant in my life by using my beloved Advocare supplements for four years. The guilt of “giving in” instead of doing the hard work that was necessary was really bad. I mean, I knew what I needed to do to get control…but I lacked the ability to actually do it.

The day of the appointment I remember sitting in the little room waiting for the doctor to come in and talk with me. I already knew what the diet would be and I knew the schedule I needed to follow. I had all of the knowledge…and none of the backbone. Anyway, I sat there waiting that day and when the door opened it wasn’t Dr. Eaton like I thought it would be…it was his nurse practitioner, Brandi.

This is where God showed up. Brandi looked at my non-made-up face, my slumped shoulders, and my frumpy outfit. One look told her how miserable I truly was and I saw raw compassion fill her eyes. She said, “Tell me why you want to be here”.

So, I did.

When I finished telling her my story, she stopped and stared at me. In that moment, Brandi was seeing a patient and she was telling her patient how to loose weight. She had her spill that she probably says a hundred times a day that she was attempting to say when I shared my story with her. She looked at me and shock filled her face. She quickly looked down at my file in her hands and immediately tears started rolling down her cheeks. She said, “Oh, Emily! I have prayed for you…and your sweet girls! I have worried about you…and I watched your husband’s funeral procession on the news. My husband and his brothers at the Fire Department have been so concerned about you! I can’t believe you are really sitting here! We just talked about you again last night. We prayed for you again…last night”.

I was shocked! I sat there in stone cold silence and just stared at her face. I watched her tears. I understood what she had just said, but I could not process it. Then, I looked at her and said, “Help me find Emily again. Please.” And, she did!

Over the next couple of months I lost twenty-five pounds. I felt so good and I found a new lease on life. I began to attempt living again…and I looked forward to seeing Brandi each time I went to the office. I knew she was praying for me and a praying friend is worth more than silver or gold. My quiver is full of those jewels!

Fast forward to June. We had just gotten back from our big trip and I was determined to finish the house. I poured myself into working on it and decided I did not have time to go to Tuscaloosa right now. So, I stopped trying. In fact, I gave in to every temptation I had been able to avoid for four years. Temptations like Mt. Dew, Large Sweet Teas, Chocolate Candy for breakfast, M&M’s like a fountain, and Fried Chicken Fingers by the bucket. Can you say…complete fail? Yeah…complete fail.

It was easy to fool myself into believing I wasn’t gaining too much weight because I didn’t touch a scale until we went Ziplining in the Mountains for Labor Day. When I read the number on that scale I literally almost blacked out!

Knowing the one year mark was coming up, I told myself that I would just get by in order to get through the first anniversary of Greg’s home going. I also realized that I may be strong in some areas…but I am NOT strong when it comes to self-control and/or emotional eating. I am weak…very, very weak!

I called a trusted friend who has literally helped me every step of the way so far. She helped me understand where I was at the moment and how I needed to give myself some grace.

I am my own worst enemy.

Anyway, after talking to her I decided it was time to call the Eaton Clinic again. I needed to make an appointment to get myself back on track ASAP. Guess when they had an opening? Yep! Tuesday, September 20th!! I could NOT believe it!

I walked in to the office that day and was immediately met by K-Love playing on the speakers…and Bible verses posted on every wall…and familiar faces sitting in the waiting room. That’s when I knew I was doing the right thing for me. Only…it doesn’t end there. Oh no…it does not end there!

I found myself again sitting in the little room waiting when the door opened and Brandi walked in. I noticed that she looked more stressed than she did the last time I had saw her, but I didn’t say anything. She was all business and I knew she didn’t realize it was me sitting there. All of a sudden she stopped, checked the file, and said, “Emily! How are you?!”

I told her how I was…and she listened. Then, she told me that she had ordered my book sitting in one of the rooms with another patient who was reading it one day! She said, “I’ll have to tell Dr. Eaton I was shopping online I guess!” LOL…and it warmed my heart that she truly wanted to read my book. It also humbled me that someone was reading it in the office!

Brandi also shared her story with me and asked me to pray for her by name…and I promised her that I would. I feel like I should apologize to the other patients who were there waiting that day, because she and I had a long conversation that had absolutely nothing at all to do with why I was there. That was a God thing.

The details of life are so very, very important to God. I realize that now. I had the head knowledge that they were…and now I have the heart knowledge as well. I had 365 days to prepare for that Tuesday. I had worried about it and stressed about it and cried about it a whole lot. Yet, I had no idea how God had planned it all out for my good!

I needed time alone. The drive to T-Town gave me that time. I needed confirmation that I was doing the right thing for me. I got that confirmation. I needed a new focus for this second year without Greg, now I have it. I needed to make some good memories on that day for me and my girls. We did that too.

Our “Daddy Day” celebration was hugely successful. We welcomed over one hundred people into our home that same Tuesday night. We had hugs and smiles and stories galore. I never dreamed that the day could be so wonderful. I am still overwhelmed by the outpouring of love we received.

Now I see…Year number one was all about survival. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.

Year number two is about setting goals and crushing them.

Year number two is about teaching my girls to set goals and crush them as well.

I am so thankful that God has this whole thing called life planned out. I am so glad that I have a new reason to be obedient! I am also realizing that I am not taking the “easy” way out. I am asking for help where I am weak…so that one day I will be strong…and God has provided the people and the plan that will help me succeed.

If you are like me and you find yourself on the loosing end of the emotional eating battle…kick your pride to the side and get some help. I still have a long way to go, but I survived last year. I know I will crush the goals I have set for myself this year if I stay focused and connected. If I can do it…so can you!!

Please y’all…If you don’t hear anything else that I say, please hear this: The little details of your life matter…always. Nothing happens by chance or by accident. Listen to what God wants you to do and push yourself forward. You are making a choice to loose by not making a choice to win. You get that right? I didn’t…but boy hidey…I do now!

So there. The secret is out. Don’t waste a single moment by not telling it! LOL…and for the love of all things good…If you see me with an M&M…call me out! It takes the village to raise a child, and I’ve got some growing up to do!

Girls Trip!

Girls Trip!

Well, days like today do NOT come around very often. My friend Dwan and I drove down to the Alabama gulf coast yesterday morning. We both decided that we needed a break from reality, home, and life in general. I am so thankful that we did!

The radio is not working in Dwan’s car and since she had won the coin toss 2bf8c4b2-0b11-40cb-ac70-df176c9799cbfor who’s vehicle we were taking, she was worried that we would get bored on our ride down here. Uh, we did not get bored! We literally talked the entire five hours! Our lives are so busy and we rarely get to spend much time together so we had a lot to catch up on.

We stopped at Dirt Cheap (y’all know how much I love Dirt Cheap!) in Thomasville and I found several sets of sheets for the girls’ beds. Then, we drove on down to Mobile where we stopped at Cracker Barrel to eat lunch. It was so good!! Thank goodness!!

After lunch, we continued on South to Gulf Shores. We stopped at a nail salon in Foley before reaching our condo for a mani and pedi. By this point we were both feeling the stress of our real lives slip away and we were just having a good time.

After finding our condo for the weekend, we decided to check out a local restaurant that a friend of ours had suggested. All of the food is made fresh and is supposed to be very good. I personally would not know because I never got my food. For the full story…watch this video! It is kind of long, but trust me it is hilarious! LOL…


Two hours of laughing kind of wears one out. So, we turned in and decided to just rest and enjoy the sounds of the open doors and the rolling waves for the night.

This morning we did absolutely nothing. It was wonderful. We weren’t in a hurry to get anywhere; there were no kids to tend to; and we didn’t have the first plan for what we wanted to do except lay on the beach and soak up the sun.

Around 11:00 we decided to get ready to head down to the sand. Since I was half starved we ordered a Papa John’s pizza for lunch. I am so proud to say it was delivered on time and it was delicious!

The sky has been covered with clouds and the rain has fallen several times, but the sun does peak through every now and then. I took a little walk down the beach and noticed that there are A LOT of groups of women down here. I remembered that I had noticed quite a few groups of women last night as well…so it got me to thinking. Is this the unofficial Girls Trip weekend?

I was down here last year for my cousin’s wedding with my mom, sisters, and cousins around this same time. We had a ball and laughed a lot. This weekend I have laughed a lot too. Which makes me wonder: Are girl trips the answer to avoiding nervous breakdowns?! I’m gonna say a big ol’ huge YES!!

Girl trips are good for the soul. They help us remember who we are as individuals. Ya know? I have laughed and acted silly and made a 16 minute live video of me laughing which my normal “reserved” self would never have done at home! I have relaxed and watched my friend relax too. We have discussed our lives, our hopes, our dreams, our hurts, our anger, our kids, our jobs, and our spiritual battles. We have cried and we have been sad. Yet, my whole body feels relaxed.

I have not fully recognized just how sad I have been lately. I didn’t give myself enough credit for just being sad all over. I have been sad… all over.

Sitting here today listening to the waves and feeling this cool breeze makes me realize that my soul needed a break. I needed to be able to step out of my reality for just a few minutes and let all of the stress that is my life slip away. I am so thankful that God knew that I needed this and He worked it out. Dwan needed it too. Together we have both realized that sitting still and doing nothing is exactly what we needed.

Tonight we will go to dinner. I am hoping and praying it goes better than last night! You can bet I will make a video about it if it does not! LOL

If you are sitting at home feeling like you might loose your mind if one more person leaves clothes on the floor…or has another practice to be at…or needs a bill paid…or food to eat…hear me when I tell you this: Grab a girlfriend…or six…and head to the nearest beach, lake, cabin, or mountain and just let yourself relax. You are worth it!! It does matter and it will actually make you a better person.

I can already like myself more today than I did yesterday. It’s true!


So, make it happen. Do what you don’t think you can do. Drop everything and put yourself in a car with a friend, turn off the radio, and find YOU again! Your family, friends, co-workers, and spouses will love you more for it! It doesn’t have to cost a lot…but the rewards will last a very long time!

It may well be another whole year filled with life changing events before I find myself on another girls trip, but I hope not! I didn’t know how much I needed this one, but I am forever thankful that Dwan asked if I wanted to run away for the weekend…and that I said YES!!

Stepping out of your normal day to day and just stopping for a little while is good. Very, very, very good.


A Passionless Life is a Living Death

A Passionless Life is a Living Death


This past weekend, the girls and I used our Christmas presents and went to Dollywood. We all had season passes and since it was a holiday weekend, we figured it was the best thing to do. We had a great time! It was our second trip with just the three of us. We spent the entire weekend together and never saw one person that we knew. It was kind of odd…we always see at least one person that we know in the mountains!!

On Saturday I stood in line with Maggie and Linnie at the Fire Chaser Express. This ride is dedicated to the firemen (a strange coincidence…) of Sevier County, TN. As I stood in line, I absently clicked onto Facebook to pass the time. That’s when I saw my friend Miranda’s post. She was letting everyone know that her awesome husband had gone to Heaven early that morning. The tears rolled down my face in waves as I read her status. My heart broke for her in a million ways. The girls saw my tears and asked me what was the matter. I told them about Michael and that he was now in Heaven with their Daddy. We all just stood there and cried, because we knew all to well how much pain Miranda and her girls were in at that moment. I just tried really hard not to ugly cry…the poor people next to us just tried their best to not stare at the three of us crying our eyes out. I immediately sent Miranda a text and said a prayer for peace to invade all of their hearts.

Miranda and I had talked many times over the last few weeks. We both knew that this day was coming. We both realized that we would be kindred spirits knit together in this blanket of grief for the rest of our lives. We knew it was gonna happen in our minds…but nothing prepares your heart for when it actually does happen.

The next day we made it a point to be at church inside the park. Dolly Parton had the most amazing idea ever when she decided to put a real church inside of her amusement park. It is open to everyone each Sunday all year long. The little wooden structure is perfect. There are long wooden pews with song books and Bibles scattered across the tops. People pack in and even fill the choir loft so that more people can fit inside.

Mrs. Rose is the song leader. She has worked at Dollywood for 31 years…and she has lead the singing at that little church for the past 20 years. It was a  blessing for me to sit there and sing with people from all over creation. I am sure Mrs. Rose thinks it is a blessing as well!

On this particular day the regular minister was away, so Bro. Mark filled in for him. I have heard Bro. Mark speak on several occasions over the years and he always has a great message. One thing that makes him so great is that he is a Kindergarten teacher! Bro. Mark is in his late 50’s I would say and he is wonderful! Think Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood…so kind, so smart, and so understanding! His messages are always clear and easy to understand with a good dose of humor thrown in here and there. This week his message was entitled, “A Passionless Life is a Living Death”.

Bro. Mark said that living without passion…every day…is not really living. He encouraged all of us to live a life worth sharing. When he said, “It is not what happens to you…it is what happens when what happens to you happens” I was dumbfounded! He is so right!! God did not put us here to just go through the motions…he put us here to LIVE. But how are we supposed to live when our worst nightmares come true? His answer: Live FORWARD!

When we spend our life looking back, we loose sight of the possibilities of what is ahead. There is a purpose and a meaning for our past. We can learn from it. We can cherish it or we can hate it. Either way, the only reason to ever look back on it for more than a few moments is to learn from it. That’s the only reason to ever look back. We shouldn’t look back hoping to have what was…we should look back to learn what we want and need in the future. Isn’t that an awesome truth?

He used an example from the movie City Slickers. In the movie all of the characters tell about their best and worst days. Each person goes through his best day…and why. Then, each person tells about their worst day…and why. Bro. Mark challenged us to do the same thing. So, I did.

I looked back on that Sunday nearly one year ago, and I realized that my worst fear came true. I lost the one man I had ever loved with all of my heart. I couldn’t imagine living my life without him before that day. I would have to say that September 20, 2015 was the worst day of my life. Miranda might say that September 3, 2016 was the worst day of her life (she hasn’t, but she could I guess). I could also say that December 21, 2001 was the worst day of my life. That’s the day Dr. Jim took my 13-week old baby out of my tummy and we had to leave his (I always believed it was a boy) tiny body at the hospital. I will never forget how Greg wept as he drove us home that day without our baby.

The best day would have been January 9, 1999. Or, maybe it was July 9, 1999? Maybe it was May 18, 2006. No, that was probably the worst day….nope the best…uh…I’m really not sure. Both maybe? Or, maybe it was July 17, 2007. All of those days turned out pretty good actually.

Do you get where I’m going here? Looking back has taught me many, many lessons about life. I’ve learned to live, love, and learn from my past. But, I can’t stay in the past. I can only look back occasionally and learn from what I see. Living…truly living…happens now. Today…and every today that is to come in the future. The thing is…how am I gonna live those days?

I’ve tried real hard to live them sad. Trust me! I’ve done my dang-dest to mope and cry my way through more of them than I care to admit. Why? What did I get out of choosing to let those emotions rule me? Well, for one thing I was able to grieve. I have loved…and I have lost. How many people can truly say that? I was a lucky one. Miranda was lucky too.

Looking back helped me to deal with the huge loss that was my life. I’m still not sure what to do with myself most of the time, but I do know one thing for sure: I want to live a passionate life! I don’t want to miss a thing if I can help it!

I want to experience everything I possibly can! I want to see things that my mind can’t comprehend! I want to travel…and travel….and travel! I want to push myself past my comfort zone! I want to stretch the limits of what I am capable of doing! I want to make a difference in someone else’s life! I want to truly…honestly…deeply…passionately…LIVE!

It is a choice and it is not always an easy choice. Life itself is HARD. There are days that I swear are gonna kill me, but guess what? When I lay down at night…so far at least….I have always woken up the next morning. Do you know what that means? God is not finished with me yet. He has something He wants me to do. He has something He wants you to do as well. Don’t waste your life. Don’t live everyday looking back! Choose to look forward…and only look back when you need to learn something about yourself. Be glad and thankful for your past…all of it. Then, straighten your shoulders and charge forward.

God made us with a desire to learn. He gave us a sense of curiosity and longing to know more. His Word tells us that “if we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart”. How awesome is that?!

Today was a sad day for my sweet friend and her two little girls. It was a sad day for a small town who lost a great man…a great police officer…a great husband…a great father…a great friend. My heart breaks for my friend who is now walking along this road with me. It is time to mourn…and weep. It is time to be sad and wish that things were different….but they can’t stay that way forever. We must all decide once and for all to live lives that are full of passion and joy. I know Greg did that…Michael did that too. They finished their race…now it is up to the rest of us to pick up the pieces where they left off. We can’t live in the past, but we can learn from what they taught us.

Michael and Greg left legacies behind that few men can match. They made a difference in the world around them. They stood for what they believed and they didn’t back down when things got tough. They were both Godly men who were humble and kind. They loved their wives more than life itself. They spoiled their two little girls rotten and set the bar extremely high in the best daddy category. They were fine, Christian men who left this world entirely too soon. Yet, God had a plan for those two boys. He has a plan for all of the girls they left behind as well.

Today, my resolve to live a life full of fun and excitement was strengthened. I watched my sweet friend stand beside her man for the last time. I felt her sorrow and her hurt. I know how deep the hole is in her soul. I understand…but I won’t let her give up on life. Together she and I will face the rest of our lives head on. Pray for us. Pray for our girls. Pray for the lives affected by our losses. We can’t change were we are, but we can change our future. We can choose to live…and by doing so I truly believe we are making a difference. Time here is short, but oh so sweet!

Our lives will never, ever be the same…and that’s ok. I can only speak for myself, but I know that I don’t want “the same” anymore. I just want LIFE…abundant LIFE full of passion and living. I want to choose joy instead of sadness. I want to grow strong mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I want to go where I never dreamed I could go. I want to smile my real smile once again. Then, when it comes my time to leave I hope people will say: She truly lived until she died.