Well, today held another first for me. I went to a funeral for a sweet, sweet woman who always treated me like family. Somehow it seems fitting that the first funeral I attended since Greg’s was for her. I am sure she and Greg are having a great time together in Heaven right about now.
I met Mama Seay in 1999. She was Colby’s grandmother and she lived right next door to him at the time. We were invited over for dinner one night and that’s when our friendship was born. Over the past 17 years I can’t tell you how many meals I ate at her table. She was always cooking and insisted that anyone who entered her door leave full as a tick. She took it as a personal insult if you didn’t complain of how full you were when you left her table. She was precious.
Before I met her, Greg and Colby were talking one day about her biscuits. Only they didn’t call them “biscuits”…they called them “Cat Head Biscuits” and those two boys would hurt themselves eating those things. She always made sure that she served them if she knew Greg was coming over. He tried to get me to make them, but it takes way more than thirty years to be able to make biscuits like that…I’m not sure I will ever master it. My sister Diana has it mastered…I’m good with eating hers as often as I can!
Anyway, as I sat there on the front row with Greg’s best friend and his family I tried to just concentrate on the good things that I knew to be true of both Mama Seay and Greg. It was a comfort to know that they are in Heaven together now. It’s awful sad for the rest of us still here without them though.
I made it through the service pretty good…until Beulah Land. That’s the moment that I thought I was gonna lose it for sure. I could sense Colby looking at me and I could hear everyone else crying…but I could not look at him. I knew if I made eye contact with anyone (especially Colby) at that moment it was over…I would be a basketcase. His sweet wife Trisha sensed it too and she patted my leg. She knew.
So, I looked at the flowers instead. They were beautiful! They were all across the front of the church.
As I sat there and listened to the words of that old song and enjoyed the beauty of the flowers I noticed something that caught me off guard.
I know it could be considered rude, but so help me I could not keep myself from snapping a picture if my life depended on it. When I enlarged it, I knew I wasn’t just seeing things…
There really was a perfect heart inside a rose pointed right at me!
I was shocked…and totally in awe. God was using this small little sign to let me know everything was OK. I was going to be fine and Mama Seay was fine too. We are sad, but she isn’t. We are broken and scared without her sweet presence here. We can’t imagine how to keep going without her. But, do you know what?
There are signs of her all around us…we just have to look for them.
Seeing that heart…inside of that rose…at the moment I saw it was very touching to me. I knew in that moment that the memories will always be here. They will always be a part of my life. I’m thankful for the memories I have with Mama Seay…and I’m thankful for the friendships that I will always have because I knew her.
I didn’t cry at the funeral today. I still haven’t cried. I’m sure the tears will hit me out of the blue like they tend to do most of the time, but for now I have dry eyes. I am sad that Mama Seay isn’t here anymore, but I’m more glad that she’s up there with Greg than I am sad that she’s not here with us anymore.
Every person that has died in my life since June 2015 has had a huge impact on my life in one way or another.
And, now Mama Seay.
That’s a lot of loss right there, but it’s also a lot of life. The familiar faces may be slipping away, but the impact they each had on my life hasn’t. I will always have the memories they gave me in my mind and deep inside my heart.
Seeing that little heart today reminded me that they haven’t forgotten me either. I know I’ll see them again one day when I reach the other side. I just hope that someone sitting at my funeral will be as blessed as I was today. I hope whoever that person is will see a little reminder of me in something as simple as a flower and it makes them smile. Wouldn’t’ that just be awesome?
Look for the little details y’all…they really do matter a whole awful lot! I’m thankful I was looking today. I still can’t believe I saw it! Pretty neato if you ask me! Thanks Mama Seay…I saw you and I love you for seeing me.