Is it just me or does anyone else feel like they are going to just fall out from exhaustion right about now? I don’t know about you, but Springtime brings a level of tired into my life that can’t be matched any other time of the year. It could be the time change…or it could be the endless things to do…or it could be that life is just too hard.
Whatever the reason…I. Am. Tired.
I realized last night that I have hit a wall. I honestly can’t think much past the fact that I am physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally exhausted. I have made so many decisions, traveled so many miles, and worked on so many different projects over the past six months that now I feel like I am standing in a corner watching myself slowly hit the ground.
Being this exhausted makes me mad. Does anyone else feel like that sometimes? Is it me or does anyone else hate being so tired they just want to say ENOUGH!?! Yeah…I knew it couldn’t just be me!
I hate not having the energy to think or move. I hate having to keep on going when I feel like crawling into a hole and just staying there for a month. I hate having to make every decision that has to be made on a daily basis. I hate having to process life at this point. I just want to go to sleep and actually sleep for more than 45 minutes at a time. I would give my right arm to wake up refreshed and ready to tackle the day ahead with enthusiasm.
Building a house has a way of bringing out the worst in you. Top that with grief, two kids, a schedule that is impossible to keep up with, financial stress, publishing a book, and making seven million decisions a day…and you have a disaster waiting to happen. The disaster appears to be me!
As much as I try to stay positive, lately positivity has been the LAST thing people see when they see me. I hate that…bad. So, today I am choosing to be positive again.
I have to keep reminding myself that life is good. There are so many wonderful things happening that I have no room to complain about anything really. Honestly, it is shameful to even allow myself to be negative, angry, or stressed out with the number of blessings I have recieved…yet here I sit. I have been all three and didn’t even truly realize it until last night. Talk about out of touch with reality…that would be me. When I realized it I decided that I didn’t want to stay that way…so I made a choice to change my attitude.
I understand that I don’t have to stay exhausted…or angry…or ill. I can choose to be positive, focused, and happy. I just have to choose those things even when it’s hard. And let me tell you…it is HARD to do at the moment. That’s where I have to know that I can’t rely on myself anymore. I have to rely on God to help me…as well as the people He has put into my life.
Pride comes before the fall…always. Asking for help has never been easy for me. I am a doer and a worker. I don’t wait around for people to do things that I know I can do myself. I just do what needs to be done and keep going. Ya know? Yesterday I realized that I am falling…and I hate to fall. Falling equals failure to me, but it doesn’t have to!
Today, I am dusting myself off and trying again. I am going to look for the good in this day and I am going to conquer some of the demons that have been hitting me so hard here lately. I am calling a truce with my past and I am forming a plan for my future. It’s time to say, “I’ve totally got this” and believe it!
So, let’s do this thing called life Y’all! Let’s get out there and let’s get to living happy lives today. I am making that choice…and so can you. We can do this and we can do it well. Gary Allen says it so well in the following video…Life Ain’t Always Beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride. We just have to hang on!